Creating Balance In Relationships

When Problems Arise

I would like to share some of my ideas with you in order to help you find balance in your life. I really feel that life has many twists and turns and many characteristics that can either work for us or against us. As we all know, the problems we face arise at the most inopportune moment. We have to decide not just how to solve the problem, but how we feel about the problem. This aspect is two-fold. On the one hand we have our feelings, on the other we have how to solve the problem, and in the middle is the onry monster of “The Problem”. When I have spoken to those in conflict, they want someone to hear their problem. Really understand the problem. Not solve the problem for them. I have always wondered, “Is the problem”, the true problem? I have thought many times, wouldn’t it be simpler if the negativity factor were not involved? So many problems would evaporate if people could see the valid points in the other person’s argument. Conflicts are inevitable. Our response to a problem will make a difference.

What Kind Of Answer?

A very big part of this question is alluding to the fact that there is an answer. What kind of answer do you need? Is there a simple answer or a complex one? There are many different problems, so it stands to reason that there are many different answers. Many questions, many answers to the questions. Each person has learned to solve conflict from their interactions with others throughout their lifetimes. So therefore a multitude of different approaches to our problems can be implemented. Our problems tend to grow with our age. Those who grew up in a home where chores were done, have experienced the problems involved with “getting the dishes done”, or taking the trash out, or vacuuming, or washing windows. This is what I call the an active “hands on approach”. Those who grew up not doing chores learned to deal with life’s problems in a different way. This is what I call a “theoretical, or philosophical approach”. These two approaches are examples of the way we solve our problems. Each of the many ways, have their own merits.

 

What Kind Of Process?

In addition to the approaches we all have to solving problems, there is the “who, what, when, where, approach. A person using this approach might be thinking, what kind of dishes, when were they bought, who bought them or what were they thinking when they bought these dishes. I use this approach quite often myself, and find that it has a more open format. There is room to find out more information about the problem. For every problem, you ask a question. Then answer with a who, what, where, question. Then make a list of all your answers. This approach tends to encompass most of the problems I run into. This is an effective approach for me, because I like the creative solutions that can be created. What is an approach you use more often than others? One other approach is the “puzzle idea”. This approach assumes that all things fit and work together no matter what. Every problem will work out somehow, someway. I have friends who use this approach. They take a problem and define it into different categories. They find out what will work for them, and what will not. This is an approach that should be highly respected in our world, due to the skill needed in implementing it. Whatever your style is, is OK. You, may be a person that incorporates a combination of all these approaches at one time or another. A book to enjoy:  Feng Shui Your Life by Jayme Barrett

To Foster Good Will In The World:

Let’s take on the viewpoint of,”If you have a problem, I have the same problem”, then we can work together to solve the problem. Let me know your comments on this idea, see below.